a lot to learn.

So I feel my life being put back together one step at a time. Hallelujah! Its God working in my life and im so greatful he does! I try to imagine my life without him and i remember there would be no life. whether i ended up dying or i was living but, not living for God either way there would be no life. Outreach is coming to an end and so is the colorado friends stay and that makes me wanna treasure each moment i have left with them. I am so happy im stepping out of my box im glad i HAD to step out of it. I cant wait to really allow God to impact my life. this isnt lip service its gonna be real.

ohyjuyui

"This long of a struggle
Finally opened up my eyes.
Revolution's not easy
With a Civil War on the inside."
-anberlin

10003078374594759387

I have decided that i will be setting NO more goals. All the good they do is break me down when i dont complete them. I have WAY high expectations for me and im convinced they are too high.
SO from now on I will rely solely on making good choices and God will complete the rest. His goals are the only goals I need and I prefer they way he does them, Secretly haha. I am a piece of work but at least God is bigger than me.

Miserable at best

"And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay"

Sometimes life is bullshit. Theres no point to live if you have nothing left.
I know i gotta trust God and let him take the lead. That doesnt make it
any easier for me to put a smile on my face. I always distance myself
from everything that could hurt me after ive been hurt more than
I can count on my ten fingers and toes. My worst enemy has always
been and always will be my own damn self. I struggle to understand
what i could possible give to God if everything i have is tooken away.
Then i realize i can give him my whole heart and nothing else because
its not attached to other people, or music, or drugs, or alcohol, or myself.
My heart was in need of someone to repair it and that is exactly what God does
and its exactly what God wants from me.

Contagious

"Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell you I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you with first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously"
-Acceptance

This song is awesome!
It represents (for the most part) how contagious God is in my life and how contagious he should be in the lives of everyone!
"And I can tell you I've been moving in so slow" We move slow when it comes to our relationship with God we take baby steps when we should be RUNNING, no, SPRINTING to him.
"Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching"
We need to having aching hearts, for God and the lost. If our heart has never yearned for Him then it needs to start. We need to base our lives on Christ and Christ only. I dont want to ever walk out my front door without Him at the forefront of myself. I need him more than i ever realize songs like this bring me back into reality that Jesus is relevant and he is supposed to be everything we want and need and that without him we cant make it. Its dangerous to even wake up without Him active in our hearts, our minds, and our lives.

UGH

my self-esteem, self-worth- & all that other self crap is not where it should be. 

Wishes are only wishes.

The sunsets are as pretty as they ever were and I have been relying on Jesus more than I ever have before. 

What is life without Jesus? Why do we waste so much time doing other things, that are of this world? When are we going to start realizing nothing good comes from doing our own will? How do we put on Jesus and never take him off?

I find that we as people keep on wishing for various things. There is absolutely no point in wishing for things, if I do nothing to make those wishes come true. If I want something I am gonna have to go for it. Its simple but I make it complicated. The Lord wants everyone to be doing what he would do, he doesn't want to make us do what he did. I think that its time for the world to grow up. People are out there dying everyday, and I just sit on my butt all day long and i don't do anything about it. Freedom Festival, is a good place to start but, why stop there? 

Why is it easy for me to get in the groove of sharing with people and promoting Jesus when a festival comes around and stop immediately when it's over? I don't get it, I don't like it.

Prayer

is it worth praying if you already have an idea of what God should do to answer it?
If we are expecting something is it worth the disappointment?
I think its not, we should just shut our selfish mouths before we even start. Say what if something happened to our car and we had a whole bunch of things we had to take care of and we couldnt take care of anything without a vehicle. If we were to ask God for a car but you know that you dont want just any car you want that fancy sports car with tinted windows and shiny red paint, you will be disappointed. If you were to ask for a way of transportation without any conditions, you will not be disappointed because you were just asking for God to provide, which he most gratefully does, and he is really happy to do so. God hears us when we cry for help but not if we have selfish motives behind it. We need to trust Jesus with our whole life not just the bits and pieces. It shouldn't matter what happens to us because we know God is right there with an answer, the right answer.