calm

nothing makes me appreciate a calm and peaceful life more than a chaotic and horrible one.
When I am going through a hard and tough time I forget that there ever was a time that everything was just fine.
I get so wrapped up in everything that is going on because truly I care far more than any one seems to think. I get so emotionally drained every single time things happen. Sometimes, i believe that nobody gets as hurt and as messed up as me, I know that's not true at all but it feels very true when the going gets tough haha.
I thank God every day that I am weak and he is strong.
I don't need anything at all but him and he is a faithful God who comes through.
I am so blessed that I can just rest in that simple truth.
I am never doing anything alone even if everyone on this earth abandons me and I am left for dead God is always helping whether i can see it or not.
Then when everything figures itself out I just am that much more appreciative of everything.
God figures things out for us and true peace and true happiness come from him and him alone.
Even though, hurting and being hurt sucks the life out of my veins it doesn't take long before it is pumped back in.

just one thing

I love those moments in life that take your breath away.
I love the moments that will make you change your mind about everything.
You can say that you will never believe in something and then that changes in an instant.
Also, you can say you feel a certain way about someone, and that also can change in a snap of a finger.
Sometimes I hate that and sometimes it couldn't be any more welcome.
I also hate when you give your all into someone or something and never once is it returned.
It makes you feel weak, and insecure, hurt and alone, worthless and hopeless.
It is one of those moments in life that changes your mind.
I wish that people actually knew what they were feeling and that they would take the time to figure it out before someone gets hurt.
Almost always someone gets hurt.
Why in the world does hurt even exist? Sometimes it is enough for me to question my God.
He is the one thing in my life that i know i can give my all and know that i have already gotten his all.
I can relate to him in a sense, he gives his all to everyone and most people do not return that and yet he still gives his all and he is HAPPY about it.
I wish i had a heart full of unconditional love.
Who doesn't?

I wish that life was simple and people were simple.
I don't know why life is even worth all the bull shit people throw your way.

On a positive note, I love when you take a risk and it was worth it.
Maybe one day I can actually experience that firsthand.
I don't count on that ever happening to me, I give too much away to even have anything left to give at the right moment or to the right person.
I love it when i see it work out for someone, it makes all my pain completely all right.
I would rather me suffer than see anyone else suffer because, I can't control how they deal but with me I have full control over that.

Maybe one day, I will be proven wrong
that risking it all for someone or something can actually be a good thing.