love

"Don't you know son that I love you?
And I don't care where you've been,
so please come home "

All Jesus wants is for me to love him back.

Say I am coming, and actually come.

He has washed my sins away and he forgives and forgets.

Its hard to not feel so unbearably dirty and keep running the opposite direction.

God does not care what so ever where we are and where we have been.

He has told everyone many times that all he wants is for us to love him and trust him with our lives.

I wanna always remember that his love is eternal and unconditional and then return that back to him.

Yet i still forget.

pessimistic optimism

I have figured out and come this conclusion"

That good things come to an end but if you trust God even better things come out of the bad and become even better even powerful than the good thing you started with.

the fifteenth time i get something from a paramore song

"The tragedy, it seems unending
I'm watching everyone I looked up to break and bending
We're taking shortcuts and false solutions
Just to come out the hero
Well I can see behind the curtain (I can see, yeah yeah)
The wheels are cranking, turning,
It's all wrong the way we're working
Towards a goal, that's nonexistent
It's nonexistent, but we just keep believing"

We are such selfish, prideful, individuals. Living to glorify ourselves.

I get so frustrated with myself i want to do what God wants me to but, my flesh screams that i need to do what i shouldnt do.

I wish i could take the easy way out and just surrender but thats not an option.

Jesus is the only thing that should matter and he should come above all else. I can't wait to get out of this slump and just step back up with jesus in my focus.