Acts

One of the first things I was told to do when i first believed was to read john all the way to revelation. I was so stoked to do it too I had a real thirst for God, but as soon as i got to Acts that thirst was lost. I liked the other ones cause they had real meaning to me at that moment, like grace and love. Acts was just full of history and stuff about churches. Needless to say i was bored out of my mind by the second chapter so i just stopped reading. Dawnya only told me to read to revelation so i had no idea where to read instead. I was too afraid to ask, i didnt wanna get told to do what i was told. As i grew up in my faith, I soon realized that it was stupid to not read it. Here i am tackling it again, nearly 2 years later and its been blowing my mind. Its so good to know about Paul and the early churches. Its so refreshing to here what Paul tells them. Its so convicting to watch him act out what he told them. I am now a firm fan of Acts and im not all the way through it yet. Oh the things God does for us, I love that every book in the bible is going to speak to each one of us a different way and that it all has meaning in my life and its really my guide to life.

Summertime.

So the biggest thing God has taught me this summer through CSU and Outreach and his word is that people are going to die and they either go to heaven or they go to hell. I haven't sincerely cared about the ones going to hell and i certainly haven't paid much attention to the ones going heaven. I have been wrapped up in my own stupid stuff to really care about anything other than myself and my relationship with God. Luckily, there is a God and he is faithful and he loves me enough to slap me in the face and shout WAKE UP! so here i am beat down realizing I need to be committed to sharing the gospel, sharing this freedom i have in Christ. So he heals any injuries from being convicted and gets me rolling on the right track. People are not scary by any means they are nice and friendly and sometimes bitter but, who cares? It shouldn't effect my ability to share truth or any one elses. That was one thing that was holding me back but, unfortunately i got the opportunity to spend lots of time with CSU kids and i had interesting conversations with a range of people. If anything the tougher conversations are better because they test your own faith and your own knowledge of Christ. The good thing is God has a plan and whoever you talk to isnt on accident, God can use you for their salvation either now or later.

a lot to learn.

So I feel my life being put back together one step at a time. Hallelujah! Its God working in my life and im so greatful he does! I try to imagine my life without him and i remember there would be no life. whether i ended up dying or i was living but, not living for God either way there would be no life. Outreach is coming to an end and so is the colorado friends stay and that makes me wanna treasure each moment i have left with them. I am so happy im stepping out of my box im glad i HAD to step out of it. I cant wait to really allow God to impact my life. this isnt lip service its gonna be real.

ohyjuyui

"This long of a struggle
Finally opened up my eyes.
Revolution's not easy
With a Civil War on the inside."
-anberlin

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I have decided that i will be setting NO more goals. All the good they do is break me down when i dont complete them. I have WAY high expectations for me and im convinced they are too high.
SO from now on I will rely solely on making good choices and God will complete the rest. His goals are the only goals I need and I prefer they way he does them, Secretly haha. I am a piece of work but at least God is bigger than me.

Miserable at best

"And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay"

Sometimes life is bullshit. Theres no point to live if you have nothing left.
I know i gotta trust God and let him take the lead. That doesnt make it
any easier for me to put a smile on my face. I always distance myself
from everything that could hurt me after ive been hurt more than
I can count on my ten fingers and toes. My worst enemy has always
been and always will be my own damn self. I struggle to understand
what i could possible give to God if everything i have is tooken away.
Then i realize i can give him my whole heart and nothing else because
its not attached to other people, or music, or drugs, or alcohol, or myself.
My heart was in need of someone to repair it and that is exactly what God does
and its exactly what God wants from me.

Contagious

"Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell you I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you with first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously"
-Acceptance

This song is awesome!
It represents (for the most part) how contagious God is in my life and how contagious he should be in the lives of everyone!
"And I can tell you I've been moving in so slow" We move slow when it comes to our relationship with God we take baby steps when we should be RUNNING, no, SPRINTING to him.
"Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching"
We need to having aching hearts, for God and the lost. If our heart has never yearned for Him then it needs to start. We need to base our lives on Christ and Christ only. I dont want to ever walk out my front door without Him at the forefront of myself. I need him more than i ever realize songs like this bring me back into reality that Jesus is relevant and he is supposed to be everything we want and need and that without him we cant make it. Its dangerous to even wake up without Him active in our hearts, our minds, and our lives.