were gonna shine like stars in the universe as we hold our words of life

love Kelsea's song wake up, its amazing and it gives me chills.
We are so blessed as a church to have all the musicians that we have.
I praise the Lord for them everyday.

Lauren: not only did you inspire me to write this blog, but you are amazing. you've helped me grow so much, and i wouldnt be this involved with Christ if it werent for God blessing me with you. I am excited for the future, and i am excited to watch you grow and i am excited to grow right along side of you. Keep on rockin for Jesus :]

Grandma: Some people are a mamas girl, but i am def. a grandmas girl haha. She has helped me grow up since the moment i came into this world. She is such a trooper, and through every ache and pain she has in her body she will still do what she has to do to keep this family running. Without her i truly believe our family is going to not know what to do with themselves. I love her and shes amazing.

Chalet: Your a bitch and you know it but, your alright. I love you your my sister and you can always make a funny out of everything even when i dont really want it haha. Thanks for making me feel stupid almost all the time, because you keep me from losing sight of laughing at myself.
Kevin: I havent known you for to long but you quickly became a really close friend. Your such a sweet boy, and im excited to see how much you grow in christ. Ill play halo with you anytime brother :]

Craig: You've been around since the beginning of me around the church haha. Your an amazing brother. Even when you left for that little bit i knew you'd be back stronger and wiser. Thanks for being a really great example for me. I love you brother, keeep making those noises you do that really freak me ot sometimes.

Moriah: Your like my little sister, its hard to believe we have been friends for a year now. Thats crazyness. Even though were not very close right now, i still love you a lot and im always gonna be here for you. You've grown so much, and are gonna keep going, your beautiful and I love you.
Kaylee: Your great. You were def. the one who God placed in my life to help me realize my need for him. I can never thank him or you enough for that. Im so glad your gonna be the one to help Moriah out. Like how you care for Brenna, i care for Moriah and i am so glad she has you in her life. I love you sister.

Mikaela: I love you. You know how much i care for you. Whenever your sad, im sad, when your happy im happy. I just want you to know that i will always be here. No matter what. Im just a phone call away. I worry about you, but i know your a strong girl. Dont give up hope. I love you :] your gorgeous.

Mayday Parade, should be christians

because then this song would mean a lot more to me. haha.
"And yeah, we all fall to piecesBut at least you fell to me"
-mayday parade

God falls to us, as we fall apart. No matter where we are in our life, he comes to our level because he loves us that much.
I love my God, he never ceases to amaze me.
Having a bad day?
Pray.
it all goes away.
yes i rhyme sometimes, hahaha.
Oh man im glad God loves me cause, idk who in the world loves to hear me sing or rhyme for him as much as he does.
Thank God im here, and Thank God i find peace when i am relying on him.

falling apart, barely breathing, with a broken heart thats still beating

hmm, lifehouse title much?
i just went on a tangent with that, it was originally supposed to be called falling apart, flying happy or some stupid lame stuff like that.
Anyways,
Church was good, I didnt want to socialize which is not a good thing but, sometimes those days happen. God is amazing, I didnt want to watch babies tonight, i wasnt feeling up in tip top shape yesterday, but i was willing to do it because duh is for GOD, then we got one baby and she cried forever and her mom came and got her and so we didnt even have to do it. WOW aint that amazing.
I was bummed though, cause spending time with Kaylene is always good and serving the Lord is the best part.
Basically, the sermon was convicted as ever, cause i am quite the opposite of Paul. But one thing i needed to be reminded of was SUCK IT UP, haha i was being a baby and then Mac was just like suck it up i had to suck it up and i was just like me tooo brother me too.
it was kind of like a mutual heart to heart moment well of course im kidding cause thats just a little bit creepy but, you know what i mean (hopefully)
so yeah that was my night of church.
Fellowship still trying to enjoy everynight, God is easy to enjoy :]

honor god?

I strive to love God and i strive to do all things that he would want me to be doing.
but yes i fail.
All i want is to honor him because he is def. honorable, am i honoring him all the time or just occasionally?
that is the question we need to ask ourselves more often.
Often times the things we do are not sin but they often get in the way of something to make it sin.
Like texting in school, texting is not a sin but not respecting the authority is.
God does not smile when we do that.
There are a lot of things like that and i need to evaluate my life a little closer.

How could i have been so selfish?

somehow, the Lord showed me how selfish i am being in this situation i have came across AGAIN, i dont know how i got that out of a grace teaching but somehow i did.
probably because, if i didnt have grace id be going to hell for being so selfish.
Uh, obviously in every situation you can always count on the Lord to help you through.
I have been very selfish in these two ways:
1. not praying for anything related to this situation just kinda keeping it secret cause i felt the need to do that... which is terrible
2. not praying that God will use me in this situation.

so either way it was a baddddd choice i made. I dont want hearts to break tonight, nor any other night. So Lord, i pray you change my heart tonight.

"Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I'm back home in the house of God for the rest of my life. "
AMEN LORD

You can always find the positive

the words of advice i give to lots of people, well maybe just a few but anyways, it is you can always find the positive in every situation.

i guess i haven't said it in awhile cause it nearly forgot it until someone told me that tonight haha.

maybe, i can always find the positive but the positive doesn't always find me?

thats my lazy excuse.

pathetic.

i try telling myself it doesn't matter, that nothing will change how they are... but yet it still hurts knowing you've let the people you love grow so far away...

i try to tell myself a lot of things, and it usually falls to pieces that way.

"maybe if i could settle down, find for me a friend who will stick around"

those are the lyrics circling inside my mind...

I wish i were older, married, with kids maybe?

or just old enough to have my dream one bedroom apartment, with Lauren?

we could decorate it all spastic and cool and have a bedroom like zachary and matt have.

So when i get fed up with my life (like i always do) i could move furniture around until i feel happy.

or i could blast the stereo and sing praises to the Lord until my throat gives out.. and maybe even when that happens

still keep going. To bad im only 16...

one minute i could care less, the next i care a lot...

im frustrated, and hurt, and sick all at the same time

bleh

real verses fake

We are living in a material world and i am a material girl-madonna

the first part is def. true but, the second i hope to God its not.
I am who i am and nothing will change that. I feel like sometimes it gets in the way
i have noticed that people often shrug off whatever you say if its about Jesus or
anything relating to something good.
Its starting to get annoying cause really all i wanna talk about is Jesus, because
he is worthy of that.
I could care less about what you wanna look like, or who you want to marry, or what food do you wanna eat tomorrow, or how gross your hair is, or any of that junk.
I myself am guilty of doing stuff like that. Its up to me to bring up Jesus I cant wait around expecting someone else to because in reality nobody else does.
(at least that is a good mindset to have)
So im ready to change myself, now lets see how i follow through with it.
I pray the Lord will show me how to be real in a world that is so fake.

REAl, sick days

today i was reallly sick, which is surprising cause i never get sick... Im thinking not eating for a day is a very BAD idea. 

It was my fault that i didnt eat. I take the blame. 

I love to pray, it makes me feel so awesome. 

I love to serve, i can feel the Lord smiling. 

I hate to love people.... and thats the problem.