I love Jesus.
Could one person ever say that too much?
Without him I'd be one mess of a person.
My life would serve no purpose
Each breathe tooken for granted.
The things I love so much would just be things that I loved.
Now that jesus is my sole purpose for everything,
I have a purpose.
I breathe as if it were my last.
Iove things the Lord loves.
If that aint living I don't know what is?

I was stressing the other day because my dream of becoming a vet or a vet tech are probably not happening because my grades didn't seem good enough. I realize that who cares?
God has bigger and better plans if its not that and if it is then my grades will do just fine. Burn for you is an amazing song by Steele Croswhite.
"take my dreams their only in the way of what's better than I ask or imagined"
Something along those lines. Its beaufitul and I think that its very important to cling to. God has a plan for everyone, even if we don't have one for ourselves.

I love you Lord, thank you for everything, thank you for each breathe.

I am OKAY

I am no longer bitter, and i couldn't be any more happier.
To trade God on the shelf for anger was a good decision, not that i doubted it at all.
It leaves questions that are bound to be unanswered, but for once I am okay with that.
I am okay that with not eating nearly enough, I am okay with listening to any type of music,
I am okay with being by myself 99.9% of the time, I am okay that I like a boy who doesn't even acknowledge that we were friends at one point, and more importantly I am okay with who I am.
I figured out that i would rather have one good friend that is very dependable and that our friendship is firm (fortunately God has been good and provided that) then trying to have many. I can't make people talk to me, and I cannot make them pursue a friendship with me. I am fine with waiting because I have a friend in the Lord and he will provide what i need whether its many reliable friends or just one.
I am okay that i don't eat everything i need, isn't that why i started taking a multi-vitamin?
I am okay that my music style doesn't fit anybody elses, that i am free to like what I like even if nobody i know likes it as well, except for maybe Shantae cause she just likes everything haha.
I am okay with my obvious need whether it be by choice or not to be independent. I don't need to be bitter because I sit alone or I walk alone, or whatever the situation be. Anger has no place in this heart anymore and i guess i blame it on this verse
"Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?"
I think God gets me, and i think he gets my sense of humor?
I could not be any more satisfied with the Lord, and I don't ever wanna doubt him again.
God Bless! I love you :]

Love

love was put in a new light for me tonight.
Good thing i went to Deeper, i need that i need to be more consistent and faithful with my groups.

I love that whenever you need God he is going to be there for you, he will fix whatever it is your hurting about. I was beginning to lose sight in that, i was thinking God didnt care and that i was left to fight on my own. That is NOT true, he never leaves us, basically were stuck with him.
I love Jen Cameron for repeatedly telling me that shes glad i come even when i just sit by myself.
It encourages me to still come, still do what i know is right for me whether i like sitting there by myself or not i still should go because, screw what i like because when i like something it raises my expectations and when there not met i get into a rut haha and also its only good for me, no bad can come from learning about my God and seeing people who are in love with him.

I love being on fire, i need that again. I have come to the conclusion it is the only way to live, period.
So yeah, love, ive never felt it so much in a group since i stopped womens group but tonight it felt real to me again. I am looking forward and ive got a lot of changing to do but i am prepared because God is on my side, holding my hand all the way through the trials and hardships, and through the joys.

(nothing to do with the "topic" but whatever haha)

I was listening to this song by T.I. (hah yeah Jesus and T.I. strange)

it wasnt the verse he shared at the beginning that caught my attention it was the words he spoke...

"ive been traveling on this road so long, im just trying to find my way back home"

That just hit me right in the gut, the old me is gone and i need to just focus on the me now. I spend so many hours of my life thinking about who i used to be and some parts that i wish i could change or what not. That stuff doesnt matter anymore because i know i am a better person now, i am definitely wayyyy more committed to my Lord and that is all that matters to me. 

questions

Ever wake up wondering, about everything?
I do.
Often times it takes me forever to sleep.
What would happen if i decided that maybe the problem is i dont go back to God and ask him the very questions i lay awake asking myself...
how stupid!
for one i wouldnt be asking myself if i knew the answer.
and second I dont need answers to every question, all i need to remember that most of them are answered in Gods word and Gods word will stand forever and ever (isaiah 40:8) and if they are not then obviously there not very important and that i shouldnt worry about them.
God has got it in the back, as i have been saying lately GOD IS VICTORIOUS THEREFORE WE ARE VICTORIOUS.
So why is it so damn hard for us humans to go back to that very thought?
theres another question, and its def. got an answer,
HUMAN NATURE.
If things are easy, it often makes it difficult to accept. For example, its easy to believe in Jesus and get eternal life, but most people refuse to believe, its that easy and they pick hell over heaven... yeah weird.
but its just shows that not everything is a walk in the park, in fact the christian life is anything but that but, why not go back to the things we can be sure of instead of wasting time with superficial, artificial, temporary, whatever word you choose.
I know i want to go back to the things set in stone, not the things that disappear over night.

This world will NEVER change, its within yourself to make the changes that are pleasing to God, we are not perfect and never will be but, were not getting anywhere if we stay in our bubbles or if we just say "why do i have to change? its those people who are killers, who are rapists, who are drug dealers, etc..." we cant make anyone do anything, but we can make ourselves do something.
Lets change guys, God made the ultimate sacrifice of his only son Jesus to die on the cross for us sinners so that we could live in Gods kingdom forever, so why not?

alone

What makes someone likable?

lalalala

I wish I was an artist, so I could think like one.

do you have to let it linger?

Same thoughts running through my mind, the stupid pick up line we all laughed at is now a reality. "Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day long"
Blast the stereo, play a silly game, work out, nothing seems to cure the "love sickness"
I hate that I feel like I love you... what is love anyways?
Love is God, but what is love of people?
How does it feel?
how does it taste?
Does it feel like how great the world assumes it is?
I want to not worry about it, and just allow myself to think about him, but I'm stubborn and I find every way to fight it off....what if this battle is already won?
I don't make sense and I most definetly can't make sense of this. So for now he's just a lingering, soul in my heart.