In my life...

I was listening to the almost today and it hit me: "Why do, you spread your arms and tell me I'm free. Why do you wanna be in my life, in my life"

I sometimes wonder what exactly keeps God around, Its not like we live for him most of the time. But, when we fall he picks us off of the ground. I love that. Its true love and it is something i struggle to feel like i deserve. Sometimes i wish i could be a normal teenager, one who falls in "love", just has fun for the sake of fun, Lives for the moment, and no worries.
Then i remember that I was that girl at some point minus the "love" part. Why does it have to be so appealing to live the life of this world?
I mean dammit it sounds a hell of a lot easier than living up to a lot of expectations, mostly ones that i set for myself because i know the way, which is Jesus.
I know I know its not supposed to be easy because its exactly the opposite of what we are programmed to live like. It is still frustrating sometimes, and sometimes i just wanna give it up.
Sometimes it just gets too tiring, and I feel like that's probably meaning i am not doing it right.
Sometimes, i want to forget it all and just fall in love like a normal human being. But whenever I find myself liking someone ( which is pretty rare) It sticks to my heart like glue, consuming every thought, and then i realize that I have to unstick it, and its unbearably hard this time.

"I wanna always feel like part of this was mine, I wanna fall in love tonight"