You can always find the positive

the words of advice i give to lots of people, well maybe just a few but anyways, it is you can always find the positive in every situation.

i guess i haven't said it in awhile cause it nearly forgot it until someone told me that tonight haha.

maybe, i can always find the positive but the positive doesn't always find me?

thats my lazy excuse.

pathetic.

i try telling myself it doesn't matter, that nothing will change how they are... but yet it still hurts knowing you've let the people you love grow so far away...

i try to tell myself a lot of things, and it usually falls to pieces that way.

"maybe if i could settle down, find for me a friend who will stick around"

those are the lyrics circling inside my mind...

I wish i were older, married, with kids maybe?

or just old enough to have my dream one bedroom apartment, with Lauren?

we could decorate it all spastic and cool and have a bedroom like zachary and matt have.

So when i get fed up with my life (like i always do) i could move furniture around until i feel happy.

or i could blast the stereo and sing praises to the Lord until my throat gives out.. and maybe even when that happens

still keep going. To bad im only 16...

one minute i could care less, the next i care a lot...

im frustrated, and hurt, and sick all at the same time

bleh