tired and uninspired

Bleh.
thats my word of choice lately.
Its so hard, trying to be yourself these days.
I dont want to look at myself 10 years ago and say wow ive changed completely, who am i?
i wanna be able to at least recognize my own face. If that makes sense?
I wanna still be wearing skinny jeans, even when nobody else likes them anymore, because flares have came back.
I wanna still have my gauges, even when nobody else likes them.
I wanna still wear no make-up even if everyone decides its better.
I want to do what i like.
God is happy with whoever we are.
I am tired of everyone, trying to change their image, just because, well basically because theres no real reason. I mean i can look at people i love and adore and just go wow they have changed so much it would be hard to recognize them if i havent been talking to them for a year.
Its crazy, its def. an epidemic.
I wish that people could talk to people who are completely different from them, even if there are several others in the group that are exactly like them.
I for one, know how it feels to be the "black sheep" and i hate it.
It absolutely disgusts me.
I am not trying to make myself look perfect. Because ive got lots of issues to work out.
BUT.
Things still disgust me.
Its not fair to single people out, or shove them out of the way.

On another note.

I have been quite uninspired.
As in, i have not been writing about the only one that matters lately.
Jesus Christ, is something we all need. We need him around when were happy and sad.
People often pull him closer when they get upset... but i tend to push him farther away.
I guess its a sense of pride, and selfishness, he doesnt give me what i what when i want it and theres a big problem with that inside my brain so the best option (at the time) is to say see ya.
Thats not the kind of faith i want.
I want him close forever and ever through thick and thin.
i guess im slowly getting my inpiration back.

Bleh, i am tired and uninspired.
I just want to say fuck you to everybody because you all suck.
that would be the easy road.
but, that roads closed.
bare with me as i try to say i love you and you mean a lot.